You can't make this stuff up!

So today I'm going about my day, made a couple phone calls, filled out some stuff online- normal routine. I start supper and realize I'm out of cheese, so I pick up the phone to call my grandma to see if she has any I can use. No dial tone. Odd- then I realize no dsl. Interesting.

I quickly think back- no, we paid our bill. I haven't even recieved the new one yet. Thankfully we had just purchased a pay as you go cell phone and I had that with me, so I call At&T
I reach an automated system.I tell the nice computer man voice that I need technical support. He transfers me to...another automated system. I tell that nice computer man voice what is wrong with my phone line, he runs a test, and tells me that my phone will be repaired today between the hours of "now and seven O clock pm" (I didn't know that "now" was an hour, but thats beside the point) I hang up, and decide to take advantage of the quiet (HA!) by cleaning house. About an hour or so later I picked up the phone and hear a dial tone. Goody! Drat, no dsl.
So I call At&T again.
The computer man voice says "I see you are calling from area code nine zero three dash five five three" Wait! what? Thats not my number! So I wait, and wait. I get put on the phone with "bob" from India. Quick side note I wonder how many "bob" s work at that place?
I couldn't understand a word that "bob" said. He finally said there was no dsl signal, and he was going to tansfer me. First he wanted to give me a ticket number. He rambles off a string of letters and comes to "wee" Wee? Wee?
"three" I ask?
"no, wee" said "bob"
"there's not a letter 'wee'"
"wee as in wictor"
"V!?!"
"ok"
aye aye aye

It should have come as no surprise when he tried to transfer me we got disconnected.
I call back.
"thank you for calling AT&t"
"I want a person"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand, are you having trouble with your telephone line?"
"Yes"
"please describe that problem" retorts the highly irritating computer man voice
"I want a person"
"If I understand correctly you want to speak with an agent- is this correct?"
"YES" gritting my teeth now
"In order to serve you better, I need to know what sort of agent you need to speak with. Are you having trouble with your telephone line?"
"YES !!!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Are you having trouble with your telephone line?"

At this point I'm ready to throw my telephone and the evil computer man voice through the window. I start punching zeros "I. Just. Want. A. Real. Person."

"thank you for calling AT&t this is Sue* how may I help you?" {*name has been changed to protect the very nice real person who ended up with a nearly irate me}

"Sue- I'm telling you now, I am not in a good mood- I am very frustrated, so please forgive me if I sound snippy"

I proceeded to explain to Sue what was going on- and that yes I had a dial tone, but the number wasn't my number, and I was having to take someone else's phone calls. She assured me a tech was on his way.

Two hours later, my number is back, my dsl is back- and I'm sure my hair will regrow. ;-)