Tired

and I'm so tired of being tired. I lay awake last night. Couldn't sleep. I was tired. Very tired. But couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. I finally fell into a pretty decent sleep after looking at the clock at 3am. Last night was a pretty bad night. Usually I'm able to fall asleep by 1am.
But inevitably what happens is during the kids quiet time, I sit down to read and end up falling asleep. I still don't sleep heavy, and not more than 30 minutes so that shouldn't be what keeps me upa t night.

I've considered taking a tylenol pm or something to help me sleep, but I'm afraid of sleeping to hard and not hearing the kids. So for now, I lay awake. Trying to sleep, but sleep is slow coming no matter how tired I am.

Changing subjects I am also tired of the clothes that are lining the shelves waiting to be bought for little girls. This is a subject that gets brought up a lot in our home because of a family member with an opposing viewpoint. One that often buys clothes for our kids. One thing we strive to do is teach our daughters modesty. However, when I go shopping for clothes, especially for Sadie its getting harder and harder. Wal*Mart is even falling prey to a lot of immodest clothing lining the racks. Target has a few cute things, but its getting harder there as well. What I think is horrible is the places where I can find the most cute, little girl, modest clothing are the most expensive. Old Navy, Gymboree, The Childrens Place. This is why I tend to do most of my shopping on Ebay and at Consignment shops

For those of you with daughters- how do you feel about the selection of clothing we're being given for our daughters? Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes that actually look like they belong to a 7 year old and not a 17 year old?

Blah Whats wrong with me???

Sometimes I get irritated at myself for being myself.
I went to the local Home school Support group's mothers tea last night. I knew a very tiny handful of people there, but they all knew other people.

I am not lying when I say it was physically painful to stay. I wanted to cry and run away. I stayed, for information sake. But there were many times when I was the only one at my table. Everyone was mingling and talking, I felt like a 12 year old girl in the middle of very sophisticated women. Now don't get me wrong, no one there made me feel this way. Everyone was beyond kind. I just feel like....I don't know. I was just so uncomfortable.

I only went because Aaron made me go, the only reason we go to small group even is because Aaron wants to go( and again this is ALL on me.....its my own issue) Nothing has happened to make me not enjoy going, I just don't feel like I fit in. It's quite painful for me.

Aaron tells me last night when I come home in tears, because I was so miserable, that I have to assert myself. He says "you are starting a business, you have to get over this" But when I have a camera in my hands I am confident, I'm calm cool and collected. I don't feel so self conscious. ugh. Why?

Checking In...

These next few days before school starts will be a little hectic. Today I am working on laundry.
Tomorrow I have to be at the paper to have my pic taken at 10, then Connor has an appt at 11:30, I am also shopping for first day of school outfits for Connor and Sadie. I know, they are going to be homeschooled, and its pointless, but last year they were in uniforms, and didn't get the joy of first day of school clothes- and I'm going to make them dress down to the shoes anyway, so why not a fun new outfit?

Friday night we have a movie and ice cream night at church, Saturday, Aaron is taking all of the kids to Jefferson so I can have several hours of peace and quiet to plan lessons. Saturday night is homegroup, Sunday church, and Sunday night I am taking my sister Caroline, and Sadie to see Nancy Drew at the $1 theatre.

Monday is our first day of school. Woohoo! I think the kids are really looking forward to it, and we really are going to have a lot of fun. We have a lot of neat things planned. :) Including a field trip two weeks after school starts. lol :)

Monday night I have a tea with the homeschool group. So crazy days ahead, so I wanted to check in and let you know I may be MIA for a while.